randallCbennett[dot]com

First Impressions

This post is very introspective, and not meant to be mean. It’s the state of how I’m feeling right this moment, and is a pretty clear view into my soul. Please understand this isn’t meant to hurt anyones feelings, but more of an avenue for me to outlet how I’m feeling.

I never realized how crucial first impressions are, until today. I was thinking about my chosen career path of quitting my steady, easy and mind numbing job as a broadcast designer at a local TV station. I’ve felt like I haven’t received very much support from my family, and it’s been a source of contention among me and my siblings, at least from my perspective. Now, some of my family members say they’re supportive, but I don’t feel like they truly support me, and I know why…. First impressions.

When I tell a person about my new career choice, the determination as to whether they support me or not comes from the first contact. A reaction of “Oh… well can you really afford to do that?” results in a gut feeling of “they hate me, and think my career choice is stupid.”
However, a reaction of, “That sounds awesome! You could totally make that work,” followed by, “You’re probably not going to make a ton of money at first, but you’ll make it up in the long run, right?” would feel more positive. In both cases, the concerns are completely valid, especially in the situation of my roomate-sis where I’m helping contribute to our household rent financially, but in both scenarios the conditionally of support is broached differently.

If you’re reading this, offer your support first and criticisms second. I don’t know how any of my family really feels about my two businesses and freelance writing career, but I feel like most of them hate the idea. I feel like my sis’s-in-law (all three of them!) are the most supportive of my ideas, and allow me the most leeway. They were also the ones who supported my New York journey, when everyone else met it with skepticism.

The safe way is the easy way, but not necessarily the best way. Please, support first, ask questions later. I’m not saying I’m starting to shoot heroin or commit any other sort of illegal activity, nor am I renouncing anything especially close to my heart, but if anyone reading this (in my family, not you J, nor you Josh) wants to know why I get depressed and feel like the world is against me, it’s mainly because I feel like my family was / kind of still is against my decision. Whether that’s true or not, I don’t really know, but the first impression feels like the truest impression… hence why I feel unsupported. Any impression after the first feels like it’s making up for a disappointment in my reaction to your reaction.

I’d love to say “OK, time to start over, and now tell me all how you really feel,” but it doesn’t really work like that. I know my Dad supports me, at least on the surface, and has some confidence in my abilities, and that’s probably the most reassuring feeling of all. I guess I don’t really need anyone else to understand what I’m doing, nor have faith in it, but I’ll just have to call him when I’m feeling down and get a shot in the arm of excitement.

Best. Day. Ever.

I can’t elaborate on all the details as of yet, mainly because some of them aren’t finalized and some of them can’t be public… but today is the best day I’ve ever had. Seriously.

The downside to the best day ever? It’s all downhill from here. :) Look at that lil optomism I’ve gleaned from last year. As I recall, late january and early february were also the best days ever for me before. Yeah, it makes me guard my optomism a whole lot more, knowing one day in may could ruin a whole six months of optomism.

Not going to think about that for now. On to the list! (none of these have to do with my “real job,” in case you’re wondering.)

1) Raise
2) Bonus
3) TECH CHECK DAILY SPONSORSHIP OFFER !!! ZOMG!!!!!
4) finalization of freelance contracts
5) realization I can safely quit my day job!!!!
6) More meetings with the kids at WikiReview.

I can’t believe it! BEST DAY EVER!

Now, off to a Madden 07 tourney with dudes from my church. Patriots all the way!

Me and Matt Lauer

So I was reading Matt Lauer’s bio on Wikipedia, and he never graduated from college! Four credits short. I should probably wrap up the six that I’m short, but you know, that would require slowing down and the sort.

Fox News h8’s Anderson Cooper

Fox News Channel calls CNN’s Anderson Cooper the “Paris Hilton of TV News.” What does that make them? I’d guess the Rosie O’donnell.

[MediaBistro's TVNewser]

Ill communication

For those of you not aware, television thrives on communication.  A radio system, typically made by a company called RTS, is the television’s nervous system.  For instance, lets say a producer needs to kill a story because they’re majory over their allotted time.  A producer would typically radio the director, the tape room, the graphics department and of course the anchors, letting them all know that a story is dead.  Imagine what happens if that doesn’t work… yeah, it’s a melee.

This morning, my tv station’s RTS system reset without warning.  Hilarious for me, since my job in graphics rarely requires being notified.  For everyone else, it made their job impossible.  Conducting a live interview becomes impossible.  For that matter, all live shots become impossible.  It’s a pretty big nightmare, and I’m just watching the chaos ensue.  So far, they’re coping pretty well, now that we all know the radio is dead.  It’s a different experience to watch a newscast without the director blaring in your ear for a change.

Disillusioned

I’m having a hard time right now. I’m really glad I didn’t end up becoming a local news producer or reporter, although that puts me at a loss for career choices. I decided I can’t handle all the murder, death and sad stories anymore. Graphics are one thing, but right now it’s really hard for me to hear any of these sad freaking stories, because of my personal experience right now. I still want to be a tech reporter, but I’m not going to do any local news.

You’ll see my plan soon.