Introspection, 2007 styli

You ever just sit down and look back? The end of the year has a way of doing that to people. When we realize what we’ve got is just about gone, and we’re going to move on to another numbered event in our lives, we flip through the last twelve numbered events and gawk about how great and terrible our lives are. Right now, I’m in one of those reminiscent-slash-introspective states.

I’m really glad I made that other blog, RandallAtNyc, when I did. It paints an accurate picture of the last year of my life. One would hope it would, since it’s my journal, but go back and look at the entries if you will.

Sunday, February 12th, 2006:

My brother, who just sold his website [doesn't this post sound like it's 1999 all over again?] has had to deal with the annoyance of TV news for the last 10 years. Being the youngest sibling, I’ve been lucky enough to be able to see what my family is doing, and then circumnavigate the world based on their experience. I think I truly am spoiled, not so much with temporal items as much as priceless knowledge from familial experience. Ryan, my brother, gave me some advice last year as I was (fake) graduating from school. (Yeah, I’m still 6 credits short. Don’t worry, I’m going to finish in the fall. I swear.) He said something that kind of sparked my whole Engadget / Weblogs, Inc. / DV Guru / (other project) revolution. He said everyone had told him for the past 10 years at least, that there was no money in TV, and more specifically no money in MMA. He proved them wrong, and he said to follow my dreams. Sounds kind of corny, but totally true.

That literally was one of the best tributes to my brother. He really did impact every facet of my life. For a while, right after the accident, I thought I was fabricating all these ideas about how my brother impacted my life. I took my feelings and made them feel like they were phony. Looking back, I know I was being real with myself, and real with everyone.

Then, March 1st, 2006:

Seriously, how many people get the chance to live their dreams in the city of their dreams? Not enough, that’s for sure. I’m never going to settle for anything, I’m always going to work to get the best possible experience out of life. Right now, I’m not loaded or anything… but I’m sure not broke, and my bank account for luck seems to be full, so I’m bracing for some tough issue that is about to be thrown my way.

Interesting, right?  Like I could feel something coming on, and didn’t know what or how to react. Then, if you look in May’s posts, they’re all about how “OMG, XBOX IS AWESOME.  I WENT TO E3.  IT RULES.”

Then, the bombshell.

How have I recovered?  Pretty well.  I think the one thing it’s taught me is that life is fragile.  Just when you think you’ve got a perfectly constructed card house, it gets blown over.  Don’t rest, keep fortifying.  I hope next year is as great as this year has been.  I mean that.